I AM BRAVE – Halfway Update (Days 14 – 18)

Yes, I’ve clearly gotten very behind in this challenge. I recently reached the halfway point so I thought I’d give a large update rather than write about each day since I’m behind on five (yikes).

I sort of expected to last a week or two and I knew the biggest hurdle would be finishing the last half of this challenge. Last week I was out of town at a conference and had a busy weekend when I got back which has meant no blogging. But it’s also meant I was out in the world putting this challenge to the test. I admire all of you out there doing this who are working full time, have busy lives and are STILL committed to this challenge.

Below are the days I haven’t blogged about:

Day 14 … I Am Determined 

Day 15 … I Am Resourceful

Day 16 … I Am Focused

Day 17 … I Am Progressing

Day 18 … I Am Adventurous 

 

Covering Day 14 and 15 I was really put to the test by being in a public setting for two days with people I didn’t know and around people I felt inferior to. I realized I’m still really struggling with my anxiety and confidence. I was too fearful to speak up the first day but fortunately once I was more conformable the second day I did speak up. Even though I kind of regret what I say (it wasn’t anything bad, it just seemed insignificant) other people expressed that they were proud of me for saying what I did. But those two days away and relating them to the challenge, put into focus how much help I still need and that I’m not going to be able to do this on my own. I still have a lot of limiting beliefs about self-doubt, confidence and my abilities.

Day 16 I focused on a craft that I had no idea what I was doing but I just let the creativity flow. I was quiet and peaceful and just worked as the ideas came – no stressing, no worrying. It was fun to be fully focused on one thing and to just be.

Okay, I just have to answer the journal entry for Day 17. “A recent moment that left me feeling scared and discouraged …” Ha! It couldn’t be more perfect. Remember what I said about Days 14 and 15, 100% apply to this. Being at the conference, my fears about attending came true: I left feeling lost about my future, unqualified for what I want to do and just plain scared of where I was and what I’m going to do next.

After attending an education conference last week as a guest, today I was asked to be a speaker at a conference for high school students. This gave me the opportunity to ask some genuine questions to complete strangers (completing today’s brave challenge). But I still have a lot to work on for myself in dealing with my mind and thoughts. An assumed truth that has fearfully prevented me from taking action is failure and fear of change and the unknown. I spent today telling 16-year-olds that it’s okay to change – change your mind, change your school, change careers – and to be okay and comfortable with that. Yet, it’s not something I think is okay for me. I want to believe it and I do believe it, but somehow I don’t believe it for myself. This fear of failing has held me back in so many ways and continues to everyday.

I just read the best article with the greatest quote that I’ll leave you with relating to this.

“We train girls to be perfect — to please and play it safe, to follow the rules, and to always get straight A’s … The result? Girls are kicking you-know-what in the classroom, but falling behind in the real world. Because in the real world, success is a product of bravery, not perfection.” – Reshma Saujani, Girls Who Code

 

“Success is a product of bravery, not perfection.” Man, that hits me hard! Time to Brave the next half of this challenge.

Until Next Time,

– em 

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