#MeToo … I Guess

After recent events in Hollywood this hashtag has taken over the digital world by storm.
It was definitely eye opening to see everyone use this hashtag; it was inspiring and horrifying. But, I never posted it.

This may be controversial but I do think this movement (I think it’s safe to call it that) has opened a Pandora’s box of sorts. I do think it’s important to recognize sexual harassment and abuse, to hold people accountable for their actions, and for people to be punished if they’ve done something wrong. But it also seems like people are coming out of the woodworks with accusations now. Every headline now is about someone in Hollywood being accused. These accusations may all be completely valid and that’s amazing that people are having the courage now to stand up for themselves and what is right, but I worry that the intentions and motivation for these accusations are coming from a negative place. That’s where I think this gets dangerous and the box has been opened.

I think it’s important for victims to come forward for their own healing, closure and clarity for themselves. But I can see this becoming motivated by hate and revenge and wanting to disgrace and harm public figures (because let’s be real, they are easy targets). Again, this is not to say the accusations aren’t valid, true or right, just that the motivations behind people coming forward about their abuse/harassment experiences – if coming from a dark place – are just going to make this world an even darker place than it already is.

Now, I never posted #MeToo anywhere because a) I guess I don’t feel like I have any experiences that apply to the hashtag and b) I don’t what people to know this about me.

But the thing is #MeToo is the time I was around 12-years-old and I was swimming on a hot summer day with my family and the fat, middle-aged men renovating our basement were checking me out since I was wearing a bathing suit.

It’s being told to watch what I wear when I have a low neckline on a fancy shirt I wore for the holidays and then posted pictures of the fun times I had with my family.

It’s wearing a dress that reaches mid-thigh with conservative low black heels and being catcalled as I walked past my university parking lot to get to the bus stop.

It’s teaching in a class and having students look at your chest instead of talk to your face.

All of these things, all these experiences, have made me ashamed of my body and afraid for my safety. Now I wear large, baggy, fully concealing clothes to try and hide myself and not feel like prey. Now I avoid public situations where there are groups of men. Now I lock and hide my body, mind and soul away to protect myself.

Now I guess I’m saying #MeToo.

Until Next Time,

– em

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